Political Ode to my Twitter Crush – Pink Elephant Pundit
My looks and brawn might pail in comparison,
To the many archetypes of man who want to be your twitter “boyfriend”.
While numerous other men probably showering you with their cool coquetry,
You always exude the most piercing yet graceful allure that unsurprisingly,
Leaves men like me enamored quite breathlessly.
To extol your brilliant pulchritude is in itself an indescribable pleasure,
For a manly man like me of such might and muscular measure.
I’m sorry for the brag above for I had to rhyme.
I know it contradicts the first line.
I just wanted at the start to sound meekly humble,
But, girl, I can defeat 10000 Michael Moores in any rumble.
One day, the name “Tabitha Hale” will be synonymous with “political legend”,
The woman who ensured the country remained “right” though any leftist lesion.
Even now, as your internet renown and blogging prowess exponentially increases,
The ranks of blogging Liberal Democrat boys dwindles and decreases.
No inquiry needs to be made or considered why?
They can’t ignore you like they would do a Clinton lie.
Lost in your beauty they recant their wayward ideology without a sigh.
And now they promise it’s only cause of you they seem high.
You work day after day passionately to receive your deserved merit pay,
Despising “equal pay laws” that presuppose your inferiority without your say.
Leftist “feminazis” see you at work and tremble in fear,
As you labor harder than any man who can with his head crush cans of beer.
For you drop Proverbs 31 and faith in God knowing you’ll have a successful career,
whether world-class mom in the Volvo or world-class CEO in the leer.
Leftist, drugged-up hippies when seeing her can’t believe their sight.
For a second they think it is “PinkElephant” – the impassioned blogger for the Right.
Then a fanciful hallucination as her beauty and brilliance glistens in the light,
She is the girl of their dreams and they know they won’t get to hold her at night.
Conservative women adore her as their next Ann Coulter,
Unafraid to walk down any street with her .327 mag in holster.
Conservative men become awestruck and speechless in her presence,
Even capital L Libertarians are obviously quite hesitant.
Liberal guys envy conservative guys like me,
For having a twitter direct message exchange with her that was meant to be.
In @replies I had tried to be cute and funny.
She DM’ed me back with a “Thank You” and a smiley face oh so lovely.
Now, as a God-fearin’ man I ain’t trying to rush.
Just simply want her to know about my lil’ twitter crush.
Maybe this is how it is going to be,
Beholden by her irresistibility,
To write rambling and even embarrassing poetry,
In honor of her charm, her wit, and her unrivaled beauty.
And so I finish this twitter ode of political love
Not knowing exactly what to say.
You make this NeoCon as weak as a dove,
And on twitter, you always and forever will make his day.