Brookings Institute Sleeper Cell Unleashes Attack

(Originally Posted on August 15th, 2007)

(New York City, New York) – Democrats and other leftists were shocked to discover that a sleeper cell of honest policy analyzers had secretly embedded themselves in the liberal Brookings Institute think tank. After Mike O’Hanlon and Ken Pollack wrote a New York Times article speculating that the troop surge is working and that our military is winning, leaders began pulling a commission together to determine how the sleeper cell was able to successfully unleash their attack.

“These people are determined and patient,” said Senator Harry Reid. “We live in a free society, and that is one of the risks. I am putting together a partisan ‘7/30 Commission’ which will take responsibility for determining exactly what went wrong and how we can prevent such attacks in the future. I believe that Bush got to these people and managed to turn them. These journalhadists will stop at nothing to bring down Socialism and military defeatism in America. But I want to be clear that the vast majority of liberal think tankers and journalists are peace loving people who report the way we want them to report. This is a small extremist group and does not reflect on the journalist people as a whole. Regardless, we now must locate any other cells, track them down, smoke them out of their holes, and bring them to justice.”